He keeps trying!

I meet him 2 years ago, TypeA-SuperFit. After a 3 week relationship and one late night rendezvous he has fallen into a pattern of sending late night text messages. Of which I never agree to..these lead to a series of text messages about the need to be 'human'.

What I love is his timing. Whenever he sends them I have my period.

For your delight..here is last night's text conversation...btw, he has a blackberry and I'm on a Nokia N95 hence the difference in length.

TASF: 10:56pm "Fancy a mid-week...

Cat: 10: 58: "If this is who I think you have impeccable timing. Got my period and NOT interested"

11:01pm "That shouldn't stop you....The more emotion the better & it saves me going to the gym as I know you are a good..."

Cat: 11:03pm: "You might need me but I don't need you. So much fun being rude to you"

TASF: 11:06pm. Well done you are clearly getting good regular sex from someone... Very impressive - you should write a book...I don't need you...But I don't take life too seriously & do remember you were fun in b... Be bad!!! But @ the end of the day just have a laugh...& enjoy !!!

Cat: 11:12 "Ah the good funny version of you shines thru. Your drunken twin likes to spoil your chances. Take care."

TASF: 11:17 pm: "No the complete TASF understands life is complex and there are no simple answers....Occasionally drunk yes..But never without reason...You Take Care..."

Phones

Wednesday while rushing home to perfume up before heading to a Blog debate, I was listening to 2ser-fm. The hosts were talking about the recent Apec protests & had a guest, who had participated in the protests & was talking about his blog. They commented that his blog name was very boring & listeners should call in and suggest a new name. Co-incidentally I had been thinking of some names for another blog ( about marketing and web). The word 'agitpropster' was on my list... I think it means an agitator, or pot-stirer. However it's wasn't right for me, but maybe for someone who goes to protests. So I dialled the station

It always takes so long to get through & so I kept getting ready & waited for the phone to answer..of course, I decided to quickly use the toilet & that's when they answered, just before the flush. They put me straight onto the Blogger & he loved the name. Next thing he invites himself to the Blog debate. " I'm bald and am wearing a t-shirt with a drum on it", he said. It was a debate about Blogging vs Talkback Radio, so it was strangely appropriate.

I'll call him, The Agitator.

After the debate I went to the only bald t-shirt wearing bloke in the audience and introduced myself. It was him & it was hilarious to go from a radio talk in the afternoon to appearing at a debate a few hours later. I knew about 10 other people at the debate & we all went to the bar across the road, including The Agitator. Turns out he's a well-know communication strategist & he's 27 & another bloody Virgo.

After a few too many free drinks & a late night meal I went to look for my phone. The Agitator had left a message, and so had TypeA-SuperFit, his usual rude booty text message & I need my phone to set my alarm. I couldn't find it anywhere. Next day I rang all the places I'd been & no luck.

Life without a phone is weird. Being so modern I don't have a phone at home. The only way to talk was either real life or via email.

I bought a temporary number & go an old phone from the cupboard. I've had 4 offers of old phones, it's amazing how many we all have!.

The phone has lots of old messages in it, from 3 years ago. I had saved 43 messages from one old boyfriend, Ads, & it was such a delight to read them.

"Hi Gorgeous, Hope life is sweet and the shoes are selling. Miss your lovely soul. Say Hi to everyone for me. Ads xxx"

The messages are all like this. I don't miss him, I just miss the genuineness of the message, that someone was that nice to me. I went out with him for 6 months. He is a delight but not right, we both knew that so no pain afterwards.

Seeing all those messages & remembering the easy fun times we had (he is a Virgo & loved to cook, btw) I physically felt different reading the messages...there was no stress, no confusion, no analysing...just lovely and real.

At that moment I thought of Voice Man. We were emailing this week & still haven't caught up. I sent him a reply on Friday morning & haven't heard from him, which is upsetting. It's not that I don't like him or want to see him, but when there's no contact I have to accept he's not interested. I'm really sick of twisting myself in knots. I want more of the easy, real, non-confusing messages...not the no-messages. Kinda of simple really, I think.

Charity night cont

you long for someone's company, their attention and desire. Why is it, when you have let go, they start contacting?

it was just after midnight when MrBV texts me asking where I was. I'd made a decision to go home. After 5 hours of drinking, on a Thurs night, it was time to leave. 'Should have said goodbye' I texted back.
'Yes you should have'
At this point. After having a 3 year crush on him. After enduring all the silly fantasies I'd harboured, I just couldnt' believe he was worried about where I was.
This was my reponse 'Tough Titties'
'That was harsh' he replied
Time to spell it out ..'I am a contradiciion. Just like you. You are interesting. But you are after one thing & I'm after another. So I left'
'Ok can't argue' he replied. Then another 'you're a good girl
'You are always my friend. That never seems to go away.'
'that's good'. he finished with.

I felt I'd been honest & decided to send him some 80's band info the next day. It was about the friendship now.

Lying in bed, by now, the phone buzzed again. It was 12:40am. Bloody hell, it was TASF! he loves long texts. trying to focus in the dark I had a suspicion of the contents. Yep, he was asking for it, a late night visit, all on his terms. 'but just understand it's not a permanent thing'

So not interested. I was sick of his rude demands. "darls, I have my period"
'don't be silly, sheets can be washed"
"If I'm so desirable, then wait. good night"

He's an ex-lawyer so he loves long text messages. There is not enough space, nor do I have the inclination to post all the crap he said. I was just amazed at the messages. Where were these boys? sitting in bars sending messages, it was almost 1am. Just sad really.

Early the next morning TASF texted again. 'cat, you get the common sense award, good to see you....sorry about high testostorone conduct, you can probably tell I'm still a bit out there... "

I am over both of them. Their behaviour, their texting, it's all too immature and so unfulfilling.

Still can have fun, as friends. They are both coming to my birthday party on June 16th. MrBV emailed the next day. 'count me in for your party'

life; always interesting

full moon full on stuff

ah! what a weird 12 hours !

The full moon in scorpio produced full on doozy 3D surround sound dreams. Earlier that night I had to quell a small desire to call MrBV, which I did by enjoying the warm autumn evening, sipping a strong Vodka Tonic, while writing a short story for a friends' 40th, all about her first vomit. I'm such a good friend.

Well guess who emailed me the next day? after a 3month gap, MrBV. We emailed about music gigs - The next retro 80's concerts and Sneaky Sound System, a hip Sydney band. Nothing was planned. I might do something later, but he's just the same. Contact is all over the place, never plans a thing, never asks specifically to go out somewhere. I still like him of course.

Liz called in the afternoon, I answered the phone 'Champagne!' fits of laughter ensued, she was calling to organise exactly that. "meet me at The Clock in an hour!' she said. Sitting on the wide wooden verandahs at this lovely old pub, we looked out on the street. Another mild autumn evening. It was one of those super night you have with good friends, we talked about MrBV, The Coach, her current pursuers etc. Went off to order food, Liz was texting some paramour. Came back, no handbag. In that flash, a local junkie had seized that moment to take my handbag. Security ran outside, managers were alerted, the video tapes were examined. People near us all recalled seeing a dodgy looking bloke in a tracksuit...but not the actual snatching moment. All I had was my phone and my current ideas notebook.

As we all know it's not about the cash in the wallet, it's the keys, id, credit cards and make-up, plus snotty tissues and diary notes. Ha! they stole the worst credit card in sydney... no use at all!

So I'm looking out the office at my car, sitting there, we are trying to find the spare keys. Later today I'll go down to the Police station with my passport and report the bits and pieces.

In these moments I think of who you call in such a situation, who will provide the umbridge, the succour to your situation? is this a litmus test of a relationship? The Coach or MrBV? neither at this stage. ... maybe I'll email both and see what happens.

pleased with myself

after last week's 1:30am booty call from MrTypeA-SuperFit, which I choose to ignore, I thought of the perfect response.

Exactly one week, at 1:30 exactly from that inconveniently timed text message (I was asleep!) I sent a response.

"Hi TASF, how's your love life? text messages are not my thing. Doing lots of flirting. TV show is on next year. Will definately let you know. sleep well. cat"

no response so far, but it feels good.

late night surprise

I got my first booty call sunday morning. I'd just hit the pillow after the U2 concert when the text came thru. Thinking it may be my concert going friend, I looked at the message. With sudden clarity I started to read it.

"Special Agent Cat. How is the flirting going - have you graduated to an advanced stage - I am in your area if you are out & want to catch up for fun...MR TASF"

it was MrTypeA-SuperFit, last heard of in May this year (6 months ago!)
So he was 'in my area' ... like some special offer Mr Whippy Van ?

How to re-act? I didn't want to start a texting rally, there was only 5 more hours of sleep before the alarm, so I ignored it.

When I showed my friends the next day, ignoring him was the agreed and only reaction, as we are all completely disinterested in any texting as a form of dating/ flirting/ getting together.
We are over texts. Too easily sent, too easily dismissed & eventually expensive once you start to volley back your answers. Humour, subtlely, nuances, all these are lost in the race to text. Now I'm up against blackberry holders, whose speed surpases my standard nokia double thumbing.

last week I recieved two cards in the mail, one a thank you letter from Alison for her birthday present & the other from Liz, a funny card & a spontaneous friendship message. Both were beautifully personal, funny, and unambiguous in their message. They now sit on my dresser & will remind me over the next few weeks of their lovely messages.

you can't pin a text message to your fridge. there is no joy in texting.

Further proof came from Sally, who is over texts from a potential. She put a card on his car & received a 'live' phone call as a result. He was impressed enough to call.

We love phone calls. There is no waiting, it's easy to respond & you can make plans in a fraction of a time.

So the campaign has started. Text dating is out. Phone call & letters are in. I'm re-setting the boundaries for relationships. If you can't call, don't bother. make the effort