Monday, February 12, 2007

an affair

if you have an affair as a single person with another single person, is it an affair?

In the pursuit of a relationship & a real boyfriend, I am having no fun. It's been about following dating rules, behaving, watching for signals & being boring..! The pressure of being good, not doing anything silly is getting to me. Now I don't want to do anything stupid...done enough vomiting, pub pashing & drunk texting to embarrass me for life, but all the fun has gone. Dates are all sensible, asking the right questions & making judgements. So much effort!

So I'm thinking of having an affair. Take all the pressure off & have fun 'dates'. Some blokes are unsuitable. They are uptight, stiff & can't shake their things ( hips, I mean ) And married or men in relationships are OUT. They can't be spontaneous. It's a another cronically single bloke I'm looking for, but one who is unsuitable for future purposes, but knows how to laugh and wants a bit of a thrill.

You know all those things you'd like to do, but had no-one to do them with? Thinking of the burlesque club, going to Monster Trucks at Eastern Creek or flashing my lingerie at...being naughty but flirty.

Its also because I want to change my vibe. Not appear so tense & uptight. You know the rule where you attract others when you are more relaxed & in a relationship?

Now I have thought about it...and what rules will need to apply in order to survive... more later, but if anyone has any ideas? all ears..


k said...

I went through a stage of no sex, no fun for quite awhile and it was fairly depressing. One of my girlfriends was nice enough to take me out to the known 'pickup' bar and said to me: Pick one.
So, I did.
I've never done that before, and let me tell you, it was awesome!
Other than the fact that I don't think we give ourselves enough credit. The confidence of going up to a guy and telling him that he's cute, or hot, or good looking... then later telling him he's going home with you was awesome.
He was impressed and so was I (ok, i had a few drinks....).
Sometimes you just need a little of something to prove to yourself that you still have it.
I haven't done it since then... nor did I ever hear from him, but good memories...
I also had a 'friends with benefits' for awhile. He was an ex that was good in the sack, so we ended up hooking up again one night and continued for a few months before we both found someone.
I think knowing that I could get laid helped with the overall confidence too, like how one looks when they are in a relationship - more relaxed.
Good luck!!!

Cat's Experiment said...

that's exactly the situation I mean, so good to hear your story. And it's going into the situation with exact intentions & knowing yourself better so you can handle it too.

thanks K, for your response..!

k said...

ah, the joy of the blogs :) it's nice to know that there are others like ourselves eh?
I'm glad I could help! and I look forward to your stories!

australwind said...

"No names, no pack drill"..... It seems that a free and easy, fun time would be good.

A very close friend of mine picked up a fridge repair man for just such an experience!

For her, it was just about the sex as she had come out of a long term relationship and didn't want to become involved....and the added extra bit of spice was that he was younger than her!

You need to check out the local tradespeople......*wink*