Wednesday, February 21, 2007

12 hours of everything

Everything happens at once. The old feast & famine cycle.

Saturday afternoon I finished working at a trade fair. The response was so bad, I cried in the shower & wondered where life was headed to next. It was a low point. I'd put a lot of money into the fair & for all sorts of reasons it didn't work. I did the shower slump & let the hot water pummel me back to reason. I also had to pull it together for dinner with oldest married friends who were excited to try a new restaurant, Ottoman at Pier 2 (so new I can't find a link for it)

Before arriving I texted Mr TASF. 'hi, how are you? how's your week?" such a harmless message, so totally loaded with intention. I should really text 'hi, feeling like a good.... , how about it?"

A few harmless texts later I put my phone aside to enjoy dinner. The first surprise came when the wife asked me to be Godmother to their new daughter. Tears welled up. When you think so low of yourself & others put such trust ? The husband & I are old friends, old flatmates & big drinking buddies. A few years ago I stayed at their house before a work trip to Spain the next day. A few too many bottles of wine later & after hitting the pillow, I couldn't find the door in the dark & vomited all over the carpet. Second attempt I found the bathroom & did another chuck-chunder there. The next morning I was trying to scrap the red wine & tomato salsa leftovers off the carpet with a spoon. The bathroom looked like a slasher movie. So being asked to be Godmother is a delightful surprise
The restaurant had just opened so service was like Faulty Towers but with great food. When the main course arrived at 10:30, the new parents were beside themselves with tiredness & we couldn't stay much longer. The plan was to return in a month when the service was sorted, otherwise the view, food & interiors were divine.

Once, alone in the taxi on my way home, I found a few missed calls from TASF. Texting continued. He agreed to come over. It was time to announce my proposal to him, would he like to have an affair with me?

Of course, I was nervous, did a quick clean of the house, sans getting out the vacuum cleaner & brushed my teeth. It was 12:40am when he arrived. He was looking fit & clean, like straight from the beach. He could tell I was nervous & so we sat outside to talk a bit.

Boyfriends are hard work, I said, but an affair could be fun. I'm sick of life not being fun. 'I agree, he said, we can have an affair, I can even take you out for dinner! " Well in an affair we do strange things, like visit burlesque shows & I might even flash some lingerie at you ! 'I can even buy you some lingerie, he responded.

I continued. "It' s also annoying to get invitations for you with 'and friend' and you get questioned heavily about the person you bring. I just want to have someone along without the drama'. He finished my thought ' I can be your 'and friend' & you can be mine' 'perfect ! '

You can guess what we did over the next few hours. Sleeping was deep & relaxing after that. All those endorphins & oxytocin hormones are just great ! I missed them all !

The next morning I had made arrangements with friends for breakfast. I went to grab my iPod & saw only the detached cables lying around. Looking at my brother's bedroom door, which was ajar, I realised he was not home. The strange noises I'd heard in the night were not him coming home, but a thief who entered via the balcony door, now glaringly open. Recalling even the sound of my bedroom door opening during the night, I realised I'd been robbed & they had seen TASF & me lying asleep, post it all.

My brother's room had been rummaged through & a watch had been stolen. Only two items stolen, so easily put into a thief's pocket before they ran out, while we slept.

From business disaster, to godmother status, to affair commencement & early morning robbery. Did I ask the universe to stop making my life so boring in such a dramatic way?


westius said...

Oh my goodness! What a day!

Lets just hope the thief didn't hear too much...

If only this was captured in the TV filming, that would make a great show! Hope that insurance covers what was taken, or that nothing of too much value is gone. Sorry to hear of the robbery, but what a priceless day!

k said...

that is awesome!
Now, I would never have thought of actually communicating an affair like that, but really, why not?
Great idea!
The rest of the drama, probably not that needed, but hey, when it rains, it pours!

Australwind said...


Must have been some "affair starter" sex you had there to sleep through a robbery....

I hope that the affair continues in the vein it has started and the insurance company are accommodating and prompt....