Thursday, August 31, 2006

at home with mr chatty

it's really dull to post about dates that go well. Mr Chatty is fun, affectionate & has a super laugh. I am taking it real slow with him & that's taking the panic out of it all.

He's gone home to Perth for a few days (that's another repetition, boys from Perth, WA) so I invited him over for dinner last night. This is huge for me, to cook dinner & make a fuss, but I did it for a reason.

Last week I had dinner with Liz's mum, an old-fashioned-cooked-everything-from-stratch-shoeless-cooking mum. In between all her stories about when Liz was young, she said the best way to entice a man was to show him your homemaking skills. Cooking , looking after guests, old fashioned hospitality talents. As we sat there agog at the quiches, fresh cooked vegetables & other home made treats we all pined for fridges full of food, kitchens surrounded by friends all being well fed & I kinda thought, yes, she's right. It's what's missing. The martha-stewart/ nigella lawson touch (without the cameras)

so I cooked. I had pate & humous to start, a meat & two veg meal with salad. We lay on the couches (I dont' have a dining table...a now crucial homemakers missing element) and we slowly unwound, talked about the plight of aborigines, sydney real estate & 80's music. He helped tidy up too.

i'm on a mission to get married, so I'll have dates in my kitchen. maybe this is the way?

Saturday, August 26, 2006

catalyst tv show airing

the episode is now scheduled for next year, according to one of the hosts.

just want it over & done with!

Date No4 Mr Chatty

Wednesday this week was date no.4. Originally he was going to cook. Another big tick, I can only cook 6 things so cooking skills are high on my desirable list...and I dont' mean just on the BBQ, a great aussie male tradition, I mean highly evolved skills involving a few co-ordinated pots and pans.

Mr Chatty was late from work & we'd eat out instead. His favourite restuarant, Phamish (in darlinghurst) is packed. I was concerned about fainting from hunger while we waited, but no, Mr Chatty is such a regular, one phone call & a so-called no-reservations restaurant will hold a table for him. My interest in him increases!

As you, my reader know, I've been going on many dates this year. I can talk all night, gather vitual information on religion, politics & private schooling vs public. Some things you don't see for their interest in dogs, babies & decorating a home.

Sitting next to our express service table was a couple with a very young baby & outside was a herd of dogs, with their take-away-waiting owners. Firstly he points out the dogs and discusses his favourite breeds, then starts a conversation with the baby's parents, sympathises with the crying child & how hard it must be. My head rolled from side to side as I followed this converstaion. A man who talks to babies.

I know it's me...being able to say what I want in life, but the openess with which Mr Chatty discusses homes, dogs, children, business, music is just so refreshing. He is so from the 'wrong age group/ starsign/ body shape' that I would normally select on a dating website. (he is 7 years younger) In fact almost everyone who 'fits' my 'desired profile' is totally boring! life ! always showing me it knows better!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

email goodbyes

I took my lap-top (the heaviest in the world) away to Cairns. It was a good distraction but was painful to be on dial-up.

I recieved an email from's the intro...

"I wanted to say ‘Hi’ and to apologise for not being in touch. I guess been a wee bit ungentlemanly by not calling so I hope you’ll forgive me for that. I had thought we got on really well at the start but .. .. .. .. well .. .. .. .."

Can you guess? without saying it , he was saying it was over. Quelle relief on my part. So I emailed back

"Yes we did get on well to start with, but like you, maybe the vibe is a bit more friends than anything else? so no need to apologise. You're great company though & would like to stay in touch.

the hammock is calling, talk to you soon."

never heard from him since. Emails can be a good way of saying goodbye.

PeachBlossom Love Magic

Mystic Medusa told me about this FengShui love flower trick. She said to google it & get free advice, but I ended up paying $USD6 for an eBook on the topic. Once I hear about something superstitious like this I have to do it !

So basically, you put a bunch of flowers in the right place in your house, either lounge or bedroom. simple, but this is where I get anxious & have to do it right. You have to have the right direction, according to your chinese sign, either N, E, S or West. Then place in right coloured vase & the right material vase with right coloured flowers and right number of flowers. And change the water every day. bugger that

The nicest cheapest flowers were $4 (cos I'm broke) , so bought them (wrong colour), put them in the best vase for their size & height (still wrong colour & material) and put them the right position& direction. Maybe 50% is okay?

anyway, Date with MrChatty no3 is tomorrow.

MrChatty Date #2

He was away & I was away, so finally last Friday we meet for dinner. He offered to pick me up....I was ready to jump in and say' oh, no don't worry, I'll meet you there.." but I realise I like being picked up. You dont' have to occupy yourself while waiting...checking phones, reading the menu, actually starts when he arrives & you're ready.

He choose a new tapas style restaurant & we sat, drank & laughed. I could list some of the topics we talked about, but it was the usual stuff, family, past relationships, work cv, etc, but it's the other things that happened that made me laugh.

In the SuperFlirt book, it says to look for clusters of flirtatious physical signs. Playing with the tie, hands on hips with fingers pointing to the zipper, flared nostrils...but the one sign that I thought was odd & not very flirtatious to witness is 'pulling up & playing with socks' , it's a long way down to the sock area for one & what brain biology is a man using when socks are suggestive ? But there he was, tugging and pulling his socks right at me, all night.

I like this one. He's a good egg. He's coming to the INXS concert too. We have the same daggy taste, ELO, Fleetwood Mac & other 70's bands, plus he loves Duran Duran..! my favourites.

Another reason why I like him... am super broke at the moment, so was worried about paying etc. I love it when the card comes out & everything is taken care of.... the way to my heart is both via my stomach, my liver & my wallet

The 4th Room

Holidays are the worst for being single. I've been away on my own before & not scared of sitting in a restaurant by myself. Going away for work is not a concern, but having a holiday doesn't exist. Most of my single friends hardly take holidays....there is no-one to go with & you dont' take them just to be alone. We get enough of that. I am adventurous & will organise beach house holidays...but the inflatable bed on my last holiday summed up everything.

Recently went to Cairns, FNQ , specifically Clifton Beach for Mum's significant birthday. Along came my sister, her husband & the 10month old; then my brother & his girlfriend, plus Mum & Dad. The four bedroom house was selected via friends & we all jet-stared to Cairns. On arrival, Mum gave me a big hug & showed me the '4th room', my bedroom for the holiday. It was empty bar a desk & chair. It was also next to the TV room & the 'water feature' sculpture was outside the window. yes, the crucial element, a bed was missing. Upstairs everyone had lovely rooms with ensuites & plush beds.

Went to K-mart (such a great place to start a holiday) & bought a blow-up bed. Later at home, the pump didnt' work. First night was spent on the couch. Second night I couldnt' find the switch to the water feature, went out at 3am to find it & set off all the outside lights. Went back to bed & tried not to hear the water pump noise, now more dominant over the trickling soothing water noises.

Apart from the '4th bed' there were feeling of being the 'third wheel'. If I wanted to go anywhere, I had to join up with my brother or sister; sit in the back seat & see the sites.

By the last day I was so tired. The inflatable was not pumped enough, the water feature was now off ( i read the owner's instructions to find the switch) & I woke every morning to the sound to someone watching tv or banging plates in the kitchen. The last day was hammock duty & I slept in the peaceful house while everyone took cars & babies to sight-see. I had my holiday, once I got rid of everyone.

Sunday, August 13, 2006


I've been away from home for the last two weekends so everything is on hold. no current dates, no contact. I've thought about MrChatty, who I meet the other Friday. He is super easy to get on with, is 32 & a Capricorn, and his real name is either David or Chris, which is why I have to give them nicknames as all recent dates have either of these names.

My interest goes as far as looking forward to catching up again, which is a good start. Trying not to become too obsessed or thinking too much or plan too much. This is my downfall as I dont' see past my own vision of where the relationship should go & judge if he's suitable & good-for-me first....real obvious stuff. I am playing the voice of my mediatation teacher (also a Chris)...just to 'let it go, dont' try & relax'.... 'not trying' is the worst. The slightly competitive-must-do-something-to-keep-it-moving part of me is too dominant. Chasing is the part I need to let them do. It's their job. Primative but true.

davids & chris

what happened to boys names? why is everyone called either David or Chris? do you go thru 'runs' of names too? or other bunches of similarities, sometimes they are all the same height, or same star sign (having a capricorn moment, atm)

Monday, August 07, 2006

multiple dating is the way to go

Wednesday night, met TheRussianScotsman at the Art Gallery. We viewed photographs then went to the Tilbury Hotel for a drink. We talked & it became incressingly obvious the vibe was friends. Clarity struck; there is nothing more to this, I thought. We stood apart as we said goodbye. No air kissing, no touching, just 'goodbye'. Sometimes, nothing needs to be said.

Friday was new date... drinks with a bloke from last Saturday night..MrChatty. We laughed right from the begining and I got my issue out faster than a rush to the bar for last drinks. It goes like this.. 'I'm not in a hurry & I get panicky about dating, I just want to know I can call you & it's not loaded with any intention, just want to call & hang out." He said he felt the same & we shook hands. Laughed a bit more & chinked our glasses.

I was off to Souths Juniors to see a bunch of 80's band that night & he was really keen to come along. No worries, he came , we laughed, danced, bought really cheap drinks & he is really nice. We just get on. there are a few 'on no's & i'll expand on these in the next few days currently I'm away in adelaide for a friend's birthday,

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


just quickly, to help me get over MrBalconyView, I 've put his business card in the freezer. This is an old witchy trick...I'm 'freezing him out'

I inherited the fridge from Liz, she had a business card in there from a collegue who tried to take over one of her projects. The collegue no longer works with her.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

multiple dating

The party on Saturday was great. We all talked to lots of different people, didn't drink too much & ended up with possibly another friend/ date.

Oh, & MrBalconyView turned up. Between Tanya & I we extracted the money from him for the Countdown concert, shortly afterwards he was approached by one of those 'classic party blondes' not a Paris type, the 30+ version of, more like Simone Warne. 20 mins later they were pashing. nice work.

my new hobby is 'multiple dating': see if you don't do anything with a bloke on a date, then you have no guilt, therefore you can date others & see if one is better. That's my potted version of my new activity...I'll describe further...

Usually once I go on a date, I feel like I have to say 'no' to others, despite anything happening & despite if I really like the guy or not. Basically I can only concentrate on one bloke at a time. Why should I ? See I'm not sure about TheRussianScotsman, but he could get better over time & he is good fun. So I am interviewing him really, and I need other candidates for the vacancy of 'my boyfriend' as you should. It takes about 4 or 5 goes to get the right candidtate, like any job prospect. Instead of a psyche test, I'll grill him with questions about fidelity, commitment, private vs public schools, politics & mortgage rates. Interviews are conducted in bars & restuarants. Social skills are examined, conversation is noted & attraction secures the deal.

and besides they try harder to interest you because nothing has happenned. I used to be afraid of not showing my interest, but now it's all about being on a 'slow date' & seeing what sort of person they really are.

I don't have any other dates at this stage...but will not refuse one!