Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Advice from Aunt Helen

Xmas was a day of brunch, lunch & dinner consisting of ham, seafood & pinot noir, three times over. Luckily I have the consitution!

Late into the night I sat down next to Helen, a sort of aunt, whose about my mum's age. She's been a single mother most of her life, and retired recently from law. Smart, funny & still has a cigarette after dinner. She asked me 'what's going on ?" I knew she meant my love life. "nothing, they are out there...but I'm just not connecting" I thought of MrBalconyView, Mr TASF and all the other dates of the year. "do you dream much about sex? " she asked. As an avid dreamer, I confessed to halting those dreams. too painful. 'You've got to dream more about sex". We ran out to the balcony, both grabbed cigarettes as she told me more..

"Stop talking!" she said" "just look at them, long, straight & just... "let the heat rise?, I said "exactly! then wait for it to reach your loins & bingo ! get straight to a room! " What else? , "just before you go out, touch yourself, get yourself ready. You'll be prepared to look deeply at him, with satisfaction. Do you have a vibrator?" , "No" I said, "well I'll come shopping with you! ". Love that woman!

Dream more, stop talking, look at him, let the heat rise & get a vibrator. It wasn't just a penny dropping it was a brick to my head. Now to find someone to look deeply at!

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