party time

Tanya is minding a house on Sydney Harbour complete with pool, trampoline & tennis court. She celebrated her birthday with a party at this (her cousin's ) house on Saturday. For us living in small terraces & apartments, this compound of activities on a hot summer afternoon was a great tonic for de-stressing and letting go.

It's not often you are splashing around in a backyard pool, complete with pool toys, with all your friends, no precious thoughts about getting our hair wet, we dived in, pretended to do sychronised swimming & squealed while eating watermelons in the pool. Simple but fun.

I've spent 15 years living in the inner-city. Living in Paddington terraces, Darlinghurst flats, Surry Hills share spaces. Now I'm in a modern white apartment block complete with funky lap pool in semi-industrial Waterloo. My childhood was spent in the bushy suburban North Shore where our house edged a national park, the pool was built into a 20 metre cliff. We roamed the streets, walking on hot bitumen, jumping between back yards pool or riding bikes through bush tracks. As teenagers & Uni students these large homes with pools & backyards became party zones. Speakers & turntables were dragged outside, deep & meaningful conversations took place under trees. This was our night club. The suburban oasis of Sydney.

It was a kind of epiphany on Saturday. Standing around a backyard with groups of people nested in different areas of this house all relaxing. It wasn't pretentious either. Wet swimming costumes dripped onto tiled floors, shoes off, sunglasses on, lying back on outdoor furniture under shady verandahs.

Two things happened with MrBalconyView. He who lives in a similar modern apartment as mine also grew up in the suburb next to mine. Shortly after he arrived at the party I was the first person he spoke to. Noting the backyard, he said 'I'd like to buy a house in Killara' (a suburb near our childhood areas) Suprised I asked why. 'For the future' he said. Thoughts of gardens, places for my herbs, greenery & quiet slid into my thoughts. I want that too. I dont' want to live in the inner-city. Bored of being cool. Bored of garbage trucks at 5am!

But don't be scared. I dont' like MrBV like that anymore, but I do realise he's like a male version of me. He reminds me of my family, my childhood, and with the comment about buying back into the North Shore, that I can accept & would enjoy moving away from the inner city.

The lunch party turned into an evening party. The sensible drinking turned into how-much-can-we-put-in-one-drink cocktails complete with lurid colours & mixed fruit garnishes. Then the karaoke machine was turned on. Tanya loves 80s music as much as me & insisted we sing to Spandau Ballet's 'Gold' (always believe in your soul/ you've got the power to know/you're indestrutible/) I'm not much of a singer so I perform & quelle suprise there were microphones with long leads & a couch to slide around on.

Purposely not speaking to MrBalconyView all afternoon - as a demonstration that I'm moving on - he appeared while Tanya & I performed our karaoke moment of the party. Singing to Soft Cell's Tainted Love (don't touch me please/ I cannot stand the way you tease/ I love you though you hurt me so/) I slid under Tanya's legs, carried on like a drag queen, screamed into the mic like Sid Vicious & gave the performance of my life. I sang it all out. Cathartic Karaoke.

I'm a little closer to knowing what I want & more so - to find the person I want to have another life with. Being single is fine. But it's time to move on. I want to have a different life, one with a partner, but mostly being ready for it means being happy to make those changes. I've done everything positive that a single person can do. Been to movies & parties by myself, lived alone, lived in share accomodation. I'm perfectly content with my own company but we are pack animals, we like communities and groups.. this is the next challenge - to bond sucessfully.