50% is it enough?

a great friend commented on this blog, she said "Its been a while since I read your blog… Had to laugh – you talk about Mr Chatty being incorrect starsign, age, body shape… then a few blogs below comes the fengshui with the wrong coloured flowers story! And the comment that maybe 50% is ok – as long as it’s the right 50% I guess?"

it's a pass/fail situation. I do need more than 50% to be interested. This is where I get all confused. I'm trying not to 'jump the shark' too much...make decisions about someone before I really know them. Yes, age & maturity have taught me something, but experience tells, to know someone deeply is to spend time & not rush.

One great fear is to settle on someone, only for your true heart's desire to come along later & you are trapped in a half-relationship. Some friends are really disciplined at waiting for the right one. No half-baked dates, no maybe's, no he might be's, just it's there or it isn't. That may take years to happen, years of no dates, no dilema's, no mistakes! just one perfect meeting & boom! the one is the one.

I like my mistakes, my practices, my attempts. I really feel I've tried everything on the smorgasbord, even the stuff I don't like. It makes me feel like I'm getting somewhere and have some stories to tell as I progress on this road-trip of love. The longest road trip of my life!

Back to settling. In that great novel, P&P, Elizabeth's friend Charlotte Lucas settles for the dim-wit cousin, Mr Collins. She is getting-on (27) , knows his faults, but can see he's marriageble & can take care of her. Will I get the D'arcy or the Mr Collins? I fear the Mr Collins approach, and as I start to speed towards 40, will mistakenly take care & comfort over deep understanding & love.

Think I'll revist the vase, see what colours I need & what type of vase to use. I want to improve my odds.

the freezer is working

A while ago I put my former crush's (mr BalconyView) business card in the freezer. He had a strange hold over me & I couldn't shake the attachement I felt. There's a little part of me that gets obsessed, irrationally so. All it takes is a small amount of attention from him & I am overwhelmed. It's really dangerous to be like that: an out of control crush. You just torture yourself & no-one else can replace him in your mind.

Last night was the Countdown concert. MrBalconyView came in our group of 6. MrChatty, my current dating sucess, is away & would have come. Time to test the attraction. Could I think rationally? You know I want to be his friend, because he is fun & when I first saw him approach, I thought 'yep, there is nothing there but his friendship & that's worthwhile'. The relief was there, I could enjoy his company, his silly remarks, look at him & not go any further.

As Psuedo Echo started playing 'Funkytown' I called MrChatty. It was the song we both danced and laughed to on our first date at Souths Juniors Club. I knew who I wanted to be with, Mr Chatty.