head, not heart

Got last minute tickets to see Kylie Minogue. Meet at the Entertainment Centre only to realise it was out at Homebush (20kms away), our free tickets were 3 rows from the back, but the concert was good. Kylie has just recovered from breast cancer & this show is the comeback from the earlier cancelled ones. The gay audience was beside themselves over the beefcake dancers in psuedo bondage. The costumes were fab, all Dolce Gabbana & Galliano. Without going into a review, I enjoyed it immensly

As she sang 'Put your hand on your heart' (and tell me) I thought of all the boys and dates of this year. All of them are just in my head, not my heart. No-one is in my heart. Which means I am clear to find someone to fill it.

It also helps that Jupiter is in Sagittarius now.... good news for Gemini's...this is what MysticMedusa wrote as the influences for this year...

GEMINI – Love! A significant relationship! Sensational biz partner

I am wishing..!

pleased with myself

after last week's 1:30am booty call from MrTypeA-SuperFit, which I choose to ignore, I thought of the perfect response.

Exactly one week, at 1:30 exactly from that inconveniently timed text message (I was asleep!) I sent a response.

"Hi TASF, how's your love life? text messages are not my thing. Doing lots of flirting. TV show is on next year. Will definately let you know. sleep well. cat"

no response so far, but it feels good.

girls, girls, girls

I'm surrounded by women. I'm so lucky to have so many great women friends, and sometimes it takes weeks to catch-up with all of them. I often wonder if I should be a lesbian... I have better luck meeting great women. Damn, I prefer men, the allusive the better.

the other week I meet Laurel, who has a blog on online communities, we talked for hours over cheap glasses of wine (at the art gallery members bar - got to join!) about web, internet, astrology, sydney etc.

Tanya is another great new friend whose emails have me in stitches. She's a wise women on men, and still baffled by them. Drinks with her & 3 other female friends on Saturday. All of them are single & all beautiful and normal. (Hi Liz !, Hi Mand !)

Tonight is a catch-up with 3 ex work colleagues, all chicks, all fun. (hi sons! hi di! hi kate!)

finally tomorrow is 1st drinks with MrFitManly, who i'll call the Mr PhotoKisserforA Bottle of Wine..oh, bit long, MrFM is easier. We meet 2 weeks ago, or was that 3 weeks? any way not terribly excited about meeting him.. Apart from the night we met, I emailed him when the photo's came out in the email & he suggested drinks. Heard nothing since & just cant' get enthused about the date. I need a build-up, bit more tension or flirtation & not feeling it currently.

I just need a boyfriend who either stays at home or goes out a lot, then I can continue to catch-up with my friends & meet more cool chicks.

photo dogs

in this age of digital cameras we no longer have bad photos.

I don't have an issue about getting older or older looking. The idea that my most attractive years were as a teenager or early 20's was recently dispelled by a shoe box full of 'photo dogs'.

Since I moved into a proper home earlier this year all my belonging are boomeranging to me. Boxes of Beta tapes, old shoes, single bed sheets & boxes of photos. And in the photo boxes is evidence my youth was not all shiny hair & perfect skin. Apart from a photo of me in shorts when I was 12, you will never ever see my legs again. My hair has been thru many colours, sometimes two at once - red with brown re-growth. Smoking & looking annoyed at the camera was a favourite pose & anything un-posed doesn't work - a half -motion shot is not artistic or interesting.

All these photos would have been deleted, or lost on a lap-top somewhere. But I have the printed evidence, the photo dogs of my youth.

late night surprise

I got my first booty call sunday morning. I'd just hit the pillow after the U2 concert when the text came thru. Thinking it may be my concert going friend, I looked at the message. With sudden clarity I started to read it.

"Special Agent Cat. How is the flirting going - have you graduated to an advanced stage - I am in your area if you are out & want to catch up for fun...MR TASF"

it was MrTypeA-SuperFit, last heard of in May this year (6 months ago!)
So he was 'in my area' ... like some special offer Mr Whippy Van ?

How to re-act? I didn't want to start a texting rally, there was only 5 more hours of sleep before the alarm, so I ignored it.

When I showed my friends the next day, ignoring him was the agreed and only reaction, as we are all completely disinterested in any texting as a form of dating/ flirting/ getting together.
We are over texts. Too easily sent, too easily dismissed & eventually expensive once you start to volley back your answers. Humour, subtlely, nuances, all these are lost in the race to text. Now I'm up against blackberry holders, whose speed surpases my standard nokia double thumbing.

last week I recieved two cards in the mail, one a thank you letter from Alison for her birthday present & the other from Liz, a funny card & a spontaneous friendship message. Both were beautifully personal, funny, and unambiguous in their message. They now sit on my dresser & will remind me over the next few weeks of their lovely messages.

you can't pin a text message to your fridge. there is no joy in texting.

Further proof came from Sally, who is over texts from a potential. She put a card on his car & received a 'live' phone call as a result. He was impressed enough to call.

We love phone calls. There is no waiting, it's easy to respond & you can make plans in a fraction of a time.

So the campaign has started. Text dating is out. Phone call & letters are in. I'm re-setting the boundaries for relationships. If you can't call, don't bother. make the effort

eyeballing his 'one'

one guy, who a few of us have dated, has recently found his perfect match, his - 'the one'. We're all intrigued to see this version of woman-hood that has him visting her elderly relatives and considering all those next steps you have in a serious relationship.

all those conversations we've had about what he may be looking for, what we were to him in comparison to what he eventually went for...it's all really interesting.

he's also one of those guys who has a completely seperate life. you never met any of his friends, only his other female friends, this was verified by his other ex-girlfriends. Some of us stayed friends with him with the off-chance you might meet some of his male friends, but never did. He kept his male friends strickly seperate. Purely self motivated reasons on his part. We all got sick of his solo company & stopped inviting him to much.

Could we see what appeals to him in her? let me put it this way, If he's a lampost, she's the lampshade. He's a brick & she's a sponge. He's mr sporty & she's a painted princess... they look perfect together.

one toxic bachelor has changed his spots... who will be next?

past it

some weekend activities are just not good for me.

* drinking too much champagne (really it's australian sparking wine - how I hate that term!)
* thinking I can stand upright & dance
* falling off dancefloors into the crowd
* smoking methols
* going to nightclubs and doing any of the above continuously
* arguing with the door bitch
* driving home while under the influence
* recovery the next day included lots of miso soup, cups of tea & strangley an opera on the ABC arts program...I just couldn't stand ads, the noise was too much
* and the much needed dash to the bathroom to park my tiger

all the next day I kept having flash backs on my behaivour, so kept uttering two words, 'bum!' and 'fu*k!"

I won't say, never again, but a quiet life in the suburbs with dogs & home duties is just looking so appealling... this city single life is exhausting & in my case, all too repetitive.

recently single vs long term single

The chick in the coffee shop across the road, Simone, is newly single, 1 week to be exact. After 7 years with her live-in boyfriend they called it quits. She's 35, he's 29.

I was telling her how I've been single for 2 years now, dating consisitently, doing parties, the tv show etc & now, this morning, the kissing email photos arrived....It just can't get anymore out-there than a photo of the party pash in a morning email.

Simone agreed, it's about trying new things, even walking a different way to work. This morning, she went down a different street, spied a cute boy, eyed him up, as he did to her & then walked her down the street organising a date for Saturday night. Some people are never single for long & she's one of them.

For long-term singles, we are used to being alone & can manage it well. We won't give up our sense of order & comfort for the sake of having a boyfriend. Also it has to be right, not perfect, but genuine & powerful. I think I give off the vibe of being happily single too, whereas Simone as representative of the newly-single & not-for-long group, has an electric vibe. The energy of the break-up, her determination to sort out her life & her candor of the recent events makes her attractive.

Another friend, Holly, is recently divorced after 18 years. She's 43, extremely attractive in a friendly way & so lovely. Her dating life has us in both stitches & admiration. Men fight to talk to her in bars, jump into cabs to get her number & she often has 3 on the go. She's writing a book about newly single life at 43 & how much fun dating is.

so there are two things to emulate when looking for someone, firstly - not looking. The classic case of not being aware or paying attention; this covers not trying to hard or looking desperate. Secondly - the just-broken-up energy, looking free & happy to be social, strutting down the street, life is good attitude.

image added

the photo is me kissing MrSuperFitManly at the singles party. it's the lead photo on the company email that came thru this morning. There's also photos of the four of us, me, Di, and the two Manly guys,...but I won't post that without Di's permission.

I forwarded it to MrSFM, and he wants to catch-up next week....

here goes...!