Thursday, November 02, 2006

recently single vs long term single

The chick in the coffee shop across the road, Simone, is newly single, 1 week to be exact. After 7 years with her live-in boyfriend they called it quits. She's 35, he's 29.

I was telling her how I've been single for 2 years now, dating consisitently, doing parties, the tv show etc & now, this morning, the kissing email photos arrived....It just can't get anymore out-there than a photo of the party pash in a morning email.

Simone agreed, it's about trying new things, even walking a different way to work. This morning, she went down a different street, spied a cute boy, eyed him up, as he did to her & then walked her down the street organising a date for Saturday night. Some people are never single for long & she's one of them.

For long-term singles, we are used to being alone & can manage it well. We won't give up our sense of order & comfort for the sake of having a boyfriend. Also it has to be right, not perfect, but genuine & powerful. I think I give off the vibe of being happily single too, whereas Simone as representative of the newly-single & not-for-long group, has an electric vibe. The energy of the break-up, her determination to sort out her life & her candor of the recent events makes her attractive.

Another friend, Holly, is recently divorced after 18 years. She's 43, extremely attractive in a friendly way & so lovely. Her dating life has us in both stitches & admiration. Men fight to talk to her in bars, jump into cabs to get her number & she often has 3 on the go. She's writing a book about newly single life at 43 & how much fun dating is.

so there are two things to emulate when looking for someone, firstly - not looking. The classic case of not being aware or paying attention; this covers not trying to hard or looking desperate. Secondly - the just-broken-up energy, looking free & happy to be social, strutting down the street, life is good attitude.

1 comment:

k said...

That's very interesting, I never thought about it in that way. I've always been the 'serial monogamous' as most of my friends and ex's referred to me - for the past 11 or 12 years, then now, single. I guess we all need to try new things :)