Timing

For the first time in my life I have a psychologist to talk with. Our discussions have been mostly about sorting out my financial and working life. On Thursday after not seeing her for a month, I gave her an update. With two job interviews, a new business plan for the shop and my overall improvements in general, it was a good catch-up. One topic we had not covered as yet & that was my love life. Over the last month I’ve developed a relationship with Voice Man. On the scale of ‘how good’ it’s pretty up there. I just love Virgo Men. They are funny, witty, kind, know how to cook & have a stability to them that calms me.

TypeASuperFit is also a Virgo, so is my best male friend & a few previous ones over the years….all can cook & chat & are fun. I don’t go looking for them..it’s just what I attract. The only problem is timing.

TASF was recently separated, a 5 year marriage, no kids and his wife cheated. He is still pretty ‘out there’ . When we first went for coffee, he said, ‘Cat, you tell me what you want, I’ll go and get the papers, do the ordering, you just sit there. I like doing this part” Those words thrilled me. What he wanted to do, was what I like receiving. We laughed all morning as a result of this perfect understanding.

Voice Man is also recently separated, has two kids and while he’s not ‘out there’ sexually, like TASF, he is still exploring the world of friends and inner city life, along with Friday nights with friends. Less commitment to the family and more about him.

The problem is he is too recently separated. It’s only six months. He’s only just developing the separate father role, the newly single role, the man with freedom role.

His birthday is next week. He’s having a party at home & he’s not sure about me coming along. The ex will be there along with their common friends. As he said, some people will feel there’s not enough mourning period before the next relationship.

I haven’t meet any of the friends and also don’t want to go. For reasons of first introductions & explaining the relationship, I’m not ready. So I talked to the psychologist about it. “As you’ve only just meet, in the last 4/ 5 weeks, his birthday has just come at the wrong time”, she said. ” It’s not necessary to be with him and vice versa. If his birthday was in a few months you are better prepared to be involved. Do something else for his birthday, separately, if you want.”

I agreed and the answer was right for me & I’m sure he’d be happy to hear it too, thus solving everyone’s dilemma.

Only problem is Voice Man has done the disappearance act. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since Tuesday (it’s Saturday morning) although I left a message on his phone. I don’t feel right about this. After having such a huge night & then absolutely no contact.

Maybe it’s all too early for him, does he need a bit more ‘mourning’ time? Sort out his ex, his kids, his friends and let him have his single man time.

So, if you’re reading this, Voice Man, I’d rather quit now, before it’s too deep, before you realise you need more time for yourself & regret moving on so fast. Happy Birthday for next week. See you in the future.

(the first ever break-up via blog?)