A new toy

It's sitting in my bottom drawer, wrapped in a towel. Can you guess what darling TJ bought for me? my first vibrator. It's purple & has pearls inside the lining, plus a rabbit thing on the outside. Edith bought it in Canberra on her last trip. Apparently they are heaps cheaper there...along with fireworks and dope. A strange benefit for living in the world's most boring capital city.

You have to clean it first - take away the plastic residue. Luckily I had disinfectant wipes from the India trip and then purchased lubricant.

The night I meet Voice Man was the first time I used it. I was a little wired up & this is what it's for. I thought it was so big & once I hit the button it was not silent..like an electric toothbrush. Prehaps I need a Ipod speaker system for further noise diversion. How do you dress for this occasion? I had my nightie on...pyjamas would be wrong. Lights or no lights? how do the buttons work again ? back, forward and swinging side to side. whirr, whirr, rumm, rumm... just like an episode of Top Gear. Think there' s too much lubricant. Oh, now I have to move it around.. the battery action can only do so much. Just like a toy, half the fun is the imagination you apply to the game. Luckily I have such an imagination.

Who can this purple rabbit be ? Voice Man, Type A Super Fit , or the Mysterious Stranger ? Madonna's song, Beautiful Stranger started playing in my head crossed with a version of Harvey the 6ft Invisible Rabbit. (played by Jimmy Stewart, oh, don't think about that)

I could just fall asleep now, just like a bad fuck... would that damage the ego of Mr Purple Rabbit? how long would the batteries last? Mr PR is only as good as I make him be.

The good thing is there's no cleaning up afterwards. I just chucked him on the ground and went to sleep.

In the morning I found a little dark patch under him on the carpet. I'd forgotten to put the lid back on the lubricant & it spurted out. I didn't miss out on the wet patch after all.