Saturday, February 23, 2008

Perfect almost date

The one I like, the traveller, had emailed me all day. It was Tuesday and he invited me to dinner at my favourite place, Bodega, a cool but atmospheric restaurant in Surry Hills. I got there 10 mins early, was greeted by the two lovely girls who run the place, who know my mother as she teaches her son.
"I'm on a date" I said, "Which is the best spot to sit ? "
"Here at the bar", said Sarah "I notice all the couples who sit here are happy. Now you'll need a drink, can I get you a Cava ? " (Spanish champagne) We did that conspiratorial giggle & I just looked forward to that moment when he'd walk in.

We had a lovely night, until.

He told me about a conversation he had with his ex-wife on Friday night, the night he got back. She wants to try some counselling. The divorce papers are ready to be signed but she wants to make sure. Fair enough.

He said " I just want to look at my kids and say, we both tried. That it wasn't easy but it was the right thing to do. I do know where it will probably go (the results of the counselling) but I'm doing it for the kids and because I just want to get on with her."

There's a coldness that comes over you when you here stuff like that. Your emotions are snap frozen. The air becomes colder & you feel the rotation of the world as your life is brought to a halt.

And yet I know he must do this. He must get on with her. He must sort out any emotional connections or emotional blackmail questions before he can give himself properly to someone.

So he drove me home. "I really enjoy your company, you're a fantastic, interesting person" he said. "maybe we can see a film? "
"of course" I said "we can be buddies"
he looked sad to hear that word. " I'd like to keep a conversation going" I said " You're an interesting person & I really enjoy your company".

We had had some great conversations over dinner, politics, religion....nothing light !
I'll let him call me.

So I slowly walked to my door. It felt like the most symbolic walk I've taken. The closer I got to my door, the more he felt even farther away than the real physical distance he was. His life dynamics were pulling him away from me, like some powerful wind.

There is no waiting in this situation. Life goes on. When he wants or can be back in my world I believe he will with no hesitation. It's best he gets this issue, this important problem sorted.

1 comment:

k said...

You are so cool and calm and collected on his situation, it's impressive.
I'm having a hard enough time of it with an ex-gf. I couldn't imagine an ex-wife.
I had a friend who went through a divorce with her boyfriend and it was very very rough. I think you're doing the right thing - taking it easy.