Wednesday, June 25, 2008

sticking point

I don't think about relationships all day, only here, my 30 min zone for these thoughts. So last night's brain doodle was, what characteristic would the right man have for me ?

And it comes down to apposed to being conservative...because some good people don't stand up for what's right. But the courage to know when something is wrong and call it. Silence is not an alternative to strength. I prefer Atticus Finch or James Stewart to Tom Cruise. Morals are attractive. Clarity in confusion is attractive.

Someone who has a charity side, a sense of family, kindness to friends in need, but knows when to speak plainly. I actually think it's the best way to live life. To be kind, generous and to accept the mistakes of others and of yourself

The facades of bravado in a man are transparent to me. Just by speaking louder or bossing people around is not leadership. Letting people be hysterical for a bit and then calming them through logic is more attractive. Hard decisions are also respected.

I want a man I respect. Who takes responsibility for his place in the world and what it may chuck at him.

Years ago I watched a documentary on the Lloyd's Names. During a particularly bad insurance run in the early 90's they had to pay, not the reverse. This caused the financial downfall of many and forced the sale of family estates, cut backs in livelihood & for many with inherited wealth, they didn't have the knowledge to build it back again. Sad for history, but that is what history is about.

It focused on a dapper, well kept gentleman in his 60's with that leanness that comes from a good life and health, he walked into a sweet terrace house while flashbacks showed a much grander residence, lost in the Lloyd's payment. He sat at his antique desk, surrounded by photos in silver frames, and stated..."Well I built it up once, I can build it up again"

In other words, bad luck happened, but my skills are still intact.

In the confusion of men's role these days, I find the facets I admire are timeless. Courage, morality, intelligence and being indefatigable.

1 comment:

k said...

Good traits. I look for kindness and loyalty, ambition and happiness.
there are others, but these are always the ones I'm most proud of talking about in a boyfriend (in the past and present).