In the middle of a whole bunch of changes and decisions, hence the lack of time/ space/ ability to blog.
1. Job. Just had 4th interview with 'x' company
2. Home. one moving out another moving in
3. Life. in positive momentum
4. Love. now last on the list. Sometimes you can only do 3 things at once!
The job is a whole new change. From working for myself to working in a dynamic company with a desirable salary: read: ability to pay for mortgage and other life sustaining luxuries, ie. champagne and food. I actually bought take-away last night. A major turning point! Usual meal consisted of opening fridge door, staring, taking out and sniffing, then pouring a glass of wine. For some reason I never run out of booze, only food.
The work offer is stupidly close. I've meet 4 people in the organisation now. All the top people from the Managing Director and across..part of the appeal is the flat structure of the good people.
This means I can now afford shoes and not just eBay bargains...though will continue with this delicious option.
Home life is on another revolution. My brother is moving out & I will probably take the temporary option flatmate, a friend's friend who needs 3 months accommodation, before committing to a full-on flatmate.
My life and sense of it is changing because of the other changes. In that I'm in the middle of a cycle of change but it hasn't played out yet. The dust is there, needs to move and then settle. Which means my emotional needs have evaporated. I have no head space for the love thoughts. The physical body has shifted gears to a dynamic life mode and not emotional life mode.
The mojo is on a break. I was a bit tired from the let downs and once-off moments. Not to worry, it will come back. Nice to have a break from that semi-obsession of flesh and pleasure.
As always my friends are proving to be with-me companions. We all know to shift our needs & time away from futile relationships.
Next weekend off to a beach house with ChicRugby for some time away with arm-fulls of classic movies and sunhats. ah...
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10 years ago
2 comments:
Dear Cat,
a new job so helps one forget about private troubles... and even more so if one really likes it. My own fairly new job almost saved me from depression. ;-) I love it, I met new people and I gained new confidence through professional success... I wish you good luck, too!
SV
And Chic has a nice new sun-hat and kaftan, especially for our weekend away! Can't wait!
Remember, Kit Cat, that love comes in many forms - not just romantically.
I was at a wedding on the weekend and the celebrant declared romantic love the highest love of all. I completely disagree with her. Love comes as maternal and paternal love, friendship, unconditional love from a pet (:-D), self-love, love of a footie team (or rugby-player :-D) .....
And the highest form of love is that which you have for someone who has let you down or hurt you or betrayed you .... forgiveness is the most powerful form of loving.
So remember, you have love in your life - it may not have sex attached to it - and that you always will have. As long as you have your family and some friends and yourself and your pet (get a gold-fish!), and the ability to forgive, you will have love in your life when there's no romantic love-interest around.
:-)
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