declaration

Friday afternoon & I'm off for the weekend. Just a bunch of friends, some who surf, some with kids, but I have my 'plus one'..! my dog! Can't wait to take her for big walks along the beach and through the bush. She's also doubles as an excellent hot water bottle.

It's still a little cold here..about 18 deg in the day...almost the end of winter.

Last night Mr Enthusiastic came by & declared his interest in me. He'd like to spend more time with me & really likes me. We have had a few good nights out..nothing happens & being vague I had put him in the friend basket, a friend I've drunkenly pashed but not that interested in any more. The physical thing is just not there.

Yes, I will give-it-a-go, try him on for size, etc. Maybe, just maybe he'll grow on me... It would be good if I could magically be passionately interested in him.

Other things are going on in my life. I've been spending half my time with Mum. She needs a carer or someone there to help her do everything. The radiation treatment really exhausted her. She sleeps almost 18hours, has to be helped to walk & has almost lost her hair.

Two days ago she let out a yell. We'd switched the pay TV to Fox news... Mum loves US politics and the Democrats convention had just started. She came alive watching the almost 24hour coverage. The day Hilliary spoke she didn't have an afternoon sleep. It was lovely to see her more alert, more physically able.

How does all this affect me...lots of lovely people are asking me & being very considerate... I'm just in action mode... I am enjoying my time with Mum. She's a funny woman & very kind to all of us...it's such a strange but rewarding situation, but it's because her essence is still very much there..her facial squints of disapproval, her soft smile & her cryptic way of expressing herself. As her hair matted and fell out, she said it 'was like China' huh? I said, thinking of cups of tea, porcelain, delicate or something to do with China and tea... ' Birds nest' was the answer. Her hair was like the Birds Nest, the Olympic stadium in Beijing, China.

Substance abuse is also my coping mechanism. I have to have a few glasses of wine every night. And a few cigarettes. And walk my dog....so glad to get that yapping, chewing dog