Tuesday, October 31, 2006


I have a habit of developing crushes. Prehaps I like the exquisite torture of this activity as opposed to the solid real-time events of an actual relationship; as I get older & crushes are more common to me than relationships, so I suspect I prefer torture.

just a potted history of these debilatating crushes before I promulagate my anti-crush methods. of course, in the teenage years there was the boy on the bus, then the guy at the train station, then at uni umpteen guys who were gay after all, then the last two, great friends, very available, but not to me, aquarian males, both of which lasted over 2 years & both in my 30's. Crushes are clearly not ageist.

some people have a problem with married men, I have a problem with crushes. Fortunately or not with unmarried, single males...who are technically available, so I got some cred there.

One very simple way for breaking the crush is to actually talk to them. The squeaky tones of their dull voice is often a sure fire way of quenching the desire flames. Didnt' we all giggle with relief when hearing Beckman speak? oh, Posh can have him, we thought, no sexy phones call there...text messaging is his limit.

A second simple method is once you talk to them, just gently steer conversation into sexual preferences or those that indicate his more precisely...eg' going to the kylie minogue concert?" or 'had any waxing done recently?" here we learn whether to continue having a crush on a gay man, or potential gay, or man who leads gay life but is not gay (you'll spend your life defending his sexuality, a bit like Lisa Marie Presley & Micheal Jackson, we all wanted to know if the marriage was consumated)

Once you can converse without hyperventilating, have established lack of wife or live-in partner, you generally start to think of IT being possible. Us women do that, you like them, you get on, you are attracted....boom. it should turn into something. It gets worse when he is happy to email you, ask you home decorating questions, he starts confessing that he'd like a girlfriend (pick me!) & you start reciting lines from 'When Harry met Sally' in your mind, particulary how men and women can't really be friends, because sex gets in the way. You think, eventually he'll crack, he'll wake up one day & ta-da! he picks up on your heavy chemical scent & throws some pheremones your way.

This is where mine go hay-wire. When he emails you first thing in the morning, confessing his love of ... someone else. he's so happy to tell you & wants your female advice on maximising the experience. While vomiting into the coffee cup, you tap back your positive answer. Then become unavaialble.

the second type of hay-wire is a chemically loaded crush with a stop/start man. It's all there, conversation, attraction, flirting signals, small touches, maybe even a proper date, but then a big nothing. Life keeps putting you in his path, friends are encouraging, he seems encouraged, you try all your flirting skills, and yet nothing happens. He's the type of crush that walks in to a room walks straight to you, happy greetings are exchange & 20 mins later he is pashing someone else. That I don't understand !

okay, so I've developed some methods for assiting you in the throws of these heavy crushes... tune in tomorrow...would love to hear your ideas too! so please leave some comments on what you do..! !

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