Monday, October 16, 2006

MrChatty - update

when I'm asked about MrChatty, I just say he's making no effort. Since the attraction was precarious anyway, I've just crossed him off my list.

He called the other night & I missed the phone. No compucture to call back. I was elbow deep in cooking & cleaning. Much more fun!. he called a second time, again I missed it, by accident.

This is what has changed in me. I would normally call back. I'm nice, I call back, even if I don't like them. Rudeness is a sin I can't handle, so I act like I want to be treated. This time I didn't. partly because I was finding him boring. He just talked about his job offers & that's no fun.

The Third call that night I caught. He had just bought an apartment and wanted to tell me. Nice kicked in & I made congratulatory noises.

another week goes by, he calls to have lunch.

We had lunch, I was rude, well dissinterested.

Another 10 days goes by. He calls for drinks. I just had enough. I dont want to lead anyone on, but he seems to think he can talk about work & ask me out. Rather stay at home, thank you.

So I stopped being nice & decided to confront. I was honest with him. "I don't really see this as anything, the momentum has gone & you're not making an effort. Seeing you every 7 to 10 days is nothing, and even though I said I wanted to take things slow, I didn't mean lunch or coffee every fortnight" I calmly blurted.

He said I was right & that I had patience & he was so busy getting a job he was purposely not seeing me that often.

I responded "I dont have patience, it's just I would have happily dated someone else just you're lucky I havent' been asked out recently. I honestly thought after lunch, 10 days ago, you'd never call again. And I know you are looking for work & think money may be tight, but it's not money - it's effort & thought."

No attention, means no interest.

So tomorrow night we are gonig out for drinks/ dinner. I am looking forward to seeing him, as he's an interesting person, but I've changed. No longer 'patient' or dissinterested, I'll expect his effort & respond happily in return. Effort is rewarded with enthusiasm.

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