Being the psuedo-flake that I want to be, I've been following Sonia Choquette, an american intuitive psychic. She emphasis listening to your 'vibes' and trusting them. You access these vibes by watching your body's signals, following hunches & gut reactions. looking for inner wisdom & guidance.
So I've been meditating (often at 4am when i can't sleep) and seeing if I do know what to do about my feelings for MrBv.
He's a pendulum, my vibes said, like in a grandfather clock, moving back & forward. My feelings for him swing from positive to negative. I'm trapped in that movement. I respect this is my doing & Only I can change the cycle of this unsatisfying movement.
That night I dreamt of being in a game, similar to musical chairs, except just places were being shuffled around, not removed. There was a logic & reason to the pattern, but that answer belonged to the universe & everything would fall into place shortly & be fine.
so I deceided to stop worrying, let the universe take over & just accept it's a game.
Sending the email bomb was great. I have absolutely no regrets about that & it was a truthful email, done in my classic light-hearted way. his text response confirmed it was fine, but didn't evoke any immediate need to further discuss, share thoughts over a drink or two, for example. I just got the text message. no more.
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2 years ago