2 more sleeps

The first filming which involves, background material, seeing me in my current life, before the 'vixen-make-over', is on Wednesday. We all like the before and after shots. I'll be at Fashion Week, chatting, talking fashion, and then my friends arrive for drinks on the balcony of the Overseas Passenger Terminal. The moment is definitely sex in the city, the Sydney version.

Last week was a rush of hair appointments, beauty treatments and exercise. Would you believe I've been getting up at 6;45am, going for a jog & then doing yogic sun salutes: all in the name of panic. Panic that I will look like a heffer. A big bloated aging singleton. If I'm going to frighten myself with my image on telly, it may as well be a little better than my daily vision.

My last screen appearance, in 'Abba, the movie' was aged 10, wearing a blue ballet costume, hair pushed back cockatoo style with ballet head band, and fat belly, while explaining 'why I liked ABBA', which I replied ( and the family hasn't ever forgotten) 'don't know, I just like them'. Was operating on an intuitive basis at an early age.

Leaving the cynicism aside. Which is all good fun & takes the pain out of future disappointment, I am looking forward to the strange things I may say. My habit is to let my brain just spurt forth with its impulses. Ask me a question & I'll tell you the first thing in my brain. I enjoy the vocal creativity this involves & it does lead to memorable moments, & all enjoyable, but I've never been 'on-the-spot' like this.

The idea of this program is a complete challenge & not for aesthetic reasons. It goes back to the shyness, the need to have a few drinks under me, the reason I walk in the opposite direction to the cute boys. Yes, I'm facing fears, changing habits, deliberately, publicly talking to boys & making overt moves to show I like them, despite being the mistress of the subtle move. I'm so subtle most of my friends can't tell if I'm making a move. Time to be obvious, 'cos I 'ain't getting anywhere being secretive.

I will read over any self-help books in my library, perhaps 'why men won't commit' or 'the rules' will give me forgotten advice on flirting I may have neglected.