Wednesday, September 19, 2007

undecided

Should I go to Voice Man's gig this weekend ? or should I just delete him ?

Last week Voice Man asked for my thoughts in an email. He said 'there are no wrong answers' So I told the truth, I'd like to see him again. I had taken a back step because of his birthday & the non-invite, but thought it was still worth pursuing, seeing what would unfold.

Obviously it was a wrong answer because that was Friday and it's now Wednesday.

I am really calm about it all, really I am. The frustrating bit is the 'not seeing' him bit. The one where you can answer all your internal questions just by seeing and talking to them again.

The reason I am calm is the myriad thoughts I'd had about my own existence in the last few days. I am determined to respect myself, gently demand it in others and focus on integrity, kindness and that extra sense of considered urgency you put into a relationship with someone you really like. That feeling of knowing it's special, the constant surprises you get when you're in their company; the 'oh, no, really ? ' responses.

There are two options. I can go to his music gig this Sunday. I wouldn't make a scene..but kinda interested to hear him perform, especially if they play "love is a battlefield", a particular favourite of mine.

Or I can forget about it & show him his behaivour is not good enough, and delete him from Facebook, my phone & my astro chart page. (I have a file on the astro web site & it saves all your charts ) That would be about everything, except I want my DVD back. I gave him my original copy of the Catalyst program (the show I was on) so I'd have to get that back.

Okay, vote please !

13 comments:

Laurel Papworth said...

Ditch him. Don't go anywhere NEAR that gig. I'm serious. And you do NOT want to see him perform. Not now. He'll perform again in the future and the time will be right, if it is meant to be. Not now tho. To go now looks desperate. In fact, if he rings and invites you, say no. Nothing knocks sense into muso's as much as a good "no, I don't want to particularly see you perform".

k said...

It's not worth it to go, but ask for the DVD back - that's important. he can just drop it off somewhere and go from there, but if he's doing the 'Houdini' act, it's not worth your time or effort, seeing as he's responding in that manner.
Just get the dvd and don't have any other contact.

Catherine said...

Tis truly frustrating to be honest and upright and get no response in kind. What he's thinking, what motivates him...mystery stuff and all out of your control. He could be processing he could be detaching... however it's so not all about him.

Unless you hear from him really soon with something really decent to say... I think that if you go to the gig it could be taken that it's ok to treat you with silence or distance ... I truly don't think that's what you want to create.

Getting your DVD back is important though. Then see how you feel about deleting him. Though I know the clean sweep has made me feel better in the past too... it's really about when it's right for you once you have your DVD back

Cat's Experiment said...

truth resonates ! I do agree with all of you & thanks so much for postings...a very strong response on this one too. I think we've all been there before, just need to hear it loud and clear.
Who's up for doing something on Sunday arvo?

Anonymous said...

i'm not sure if you are looking for random advice from a stranger who has stumbled across your page...

Don't let ANYONE treat you this way. It's important to preserve your dignity - the healthiest thing to do is delete him - why are you punishing yourself for? You deserve better than that!

Good luck (and yes, love is a battlefield)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9J9rTZJBmw

Cat's Experiment said...

I take all and any advice, esp when a you tube video is attached!
Seriously, thanks for taking the time to comment, stranger or not. cheers, cat x

Chic Rugby said...

I agree with all your other pollsters, Kitty Cat. Get your DVD back and then flick him.

xx

Anonymous said...

Yes, I think you should ignore him after you've asked for the DVD. As a side effect, this will also earn you respect from him, I am sure. Just make sure you don't accept him unless he's specific about things... Best of luck!
Silly V

Anonymous said...

Delete delete delete - seriously, he is not worth pursuing...5 days with no contact is disrespectful..

Anonymous said...

I hate to say this, but I have just read your comments about voice man and his elusiveness and exclusion from b'day celebrations - have you considered that he is also involved with someone else? ( sympathetic female reader) hmm my experience is that virgo men do like their secrets

ric said...

Ignore him. If he comes to you, you have a new basis from which to move forward. If you never see him again, then a Catalyst DVD (even one you're on) is a cheap lesson in 'what a prick he was', and probably worth it

Anonymous said...

Is there a getting the DVD back without going to the gig option?

Anonymous said...

so, did you go to the gig?