Tuesday, July 11, 2006

I am the professional single

Monday was low. Left work early and went to Yoga, which is easy as I'm my own boss. There are some luxuries to the challenge of self-employment. All day I just felt wrong. I was contemplating quitting everything, my job, my 5yr old business, any thoughts of a relationship or children seem so remote, as not to be possible. Was this the beginning of my mid-life crisis? as I near 40 (there are 11 months to go) I reel with the situation of my life. How was it I missed finding someone? Will it ever happen. Dont' get this post wrong, I am the best cheerleader for my friends & can turn the positive spin spotlight on myself. But sometimes you have to be realistic.

I've tried positive thought therapy (my own version of) where I read self-help books, do the rituals, have the post-it notes, screen savers all bellowing positive statments until I sound like an american evangelist. Then my australian cynical persona dryly states: it's all a load of crap, just get out there.

A good old scive from work was needed to break the low. Meet Liz at the coffee shop & we just let rip with our lives. Work problems, credit cards going haywire, boys not calling, until we both just shook our heads with the sameness of our lives. Both our phones went at once invading the moment. Back to sorting things in our work worlds. At least we are wanted somewhere.

off to a speed date tomorrow night with Di. (this was organised before I meet mr-touche) I feel like getting sloshed & having fun.

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