Tuesday, July 18, 2006

no phone calls, but an email

Haven't heard from MrTouche for a week. We've had 4 dates, but to me, there is nothing. No stomach flips no eye twinkle. There is no reaction, just blank. I'd like to keep in touch but will I call him & just put things in order? 'hello, I'd like to be friends, and I think you'd like one of my friends, call you sometime'. Weird when the rejection is on the other foot.

The day after the Fast Date, I recieved an email. Not quite an email it was just in the subject line. 'hi how are you doing?' it was MrBalconyView. That was it. 8 weeks after his party he sends that. The security footer was 100x longer.

'oh good, I off to see 'urine town' tonight. (it's a musical) what have you been up to?'

thought I throw in the bit about the play...such a weird name & an unexpected response. I am mysterious you know.

We've been emailing every day. The emails are getting longer from him: now up to 4 sentences. The crush is back in motion ! How come, just the day before he sent the email, I was driving by his house and casually thought ' oh, I must be really over him, I dont' even care that I'm driving by his house, that's good, fully over him' and felt pleased with my emotional health.

Why this contact after 2 months? I left him alone, thinking he's is ready to leave the country. The other connections to him have also been silent. But you never know what is happening in somone's life.

More importantly what coping mechanisms have I learnt since? Firstly, not to expect anything from him. Half my anxiety came from my expectations. Secondly, putting my health and fitness first. Yoga is helping enormously. I feel more grounded, less subjected to overpowering emotions, and tonight I start meditation. The teacher is highly regarded & it's just the right activity at the right time.

oh look, I have an email...maybe it's from mrbv?


Australwind said...

Hope that you enjoyed "Urinetown - he Musical" - I have seen it and thought it was frivolous fun....have a whole new appreciation of public loos these days!

Cat's Experiment said...

you saw it too! it was funny humming 'i'm going to urine town!' afterwards. not exactly a soundtrack buying play, but really well done.