Tuesday, July 25, 2006

slowing down

I'm not in a hurry. I used to be. I wanted the immediacy of attraction, lots of attention, phone calls, emails. but not anymore. There's a movement called 'slow food' well this is 'slow dating' or 'slow building interest'.

I discussed this with Sally last night. She likes the bloke downstairs in her building & scans his door everytime she walks past. There is also the waiting for a text response & engineering time in his company. It's an early form of obsession & it's wrong. Sally was the one who advised us all (on the chicks weekend) to 'be yourself & be relaxed' & I furthered that with 'just let go of your expectations'

So in the early stages, until there is an actual relationship, stop expecting. Stop feeling anxious about the speed and amount of contact. Stop being disappointed because he didnt' call you, let his behaivour speak for itself.

MrBalconyView wants to see a film, but hasnt' got to a time or date: whereas TheRussianScotsman has organised dinner on Friday night. Which one do I like more anyway? you guess!

2 comments:

Claire said...

Hi Cat! I always have a problem taking things slow. I always like to rush into things figuring that if it doesn't work out, at least I'll find out quicker, and if it does work out then I didn't waste any time! Ha.

What usually happens is that I don't really get to know them that well, and then I regret rushing into things...and usually involves wine or martinis...~sigh~

k said...

Ya, I get that for sure!
I'm still wondering if I jumped in too quick with where I am now with newguy.
The thing is, there is really no 'right' way of doing things. Each way works with the people who do it. Sometimes it seems like people are rushing, when it's perfect, others take it totally slow and it's worth it.
There's really no right or wrong.
Just enjoy it for what it is :)